You know your greek when.....

You have a cousin called Jim.

You say "sick" every thirty seconds

There are no such things as a girl - there's only "chicks"

You wear or at least own a gold chunky bracelet.

Garlic is considered a main meal.

Olive oil is like a drug - you can't survive without it.

You don't know half your relatives.

You have a wedding at least twice a year.

An uncle's wife's third cousin relates you to a friend.

You or at least most of your uncles own a spit.

You wear sunglasses at night and consider it normal.

There is no five o'clock shadow - it's a five o'clock beard.

You consider soccer the eighth wonder of the world.

Your cheeks receive their weekly work out every time you visit an aunt.

You have a shrine dedicated to Diego Maradona

Your last name ends with: s, opolous, os, as, or is

Your last name consists of the entire alphabet.

You have a relation called Maria, Mario or Michael, Con, George or Bill.

You tell your parents you're seeing someone and they start sending out wedding invitations.

You're home an hour late and you're already listed as a missing person.

You're Dad has those old Greek tapes in the car, and plays them on family drives. Especially in the vicinity of attractive members of the opposite sex.

You break a leg, and your grandmother thinks your life is over.

You tell your parents you're having a party. They buy out the whole supermarket.

It doesn't matter if people can't hear what you're talking about - you talk so much with your hands that people know what you're on about anyway.

You go to a wedding, and take a fancy to one of the guests. Later you discover that the guest is somehow related to you.

You go to a wedding, and are introduced to cousins that you never knew existed.

As far as you're concerned, there's only one sporting goods company - Adidas

You tell your mother you're not hungry and she thinks you have an eating disorder.

You can distinguish between kefalotiri and kefalograviera

You're an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's eve

Upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "What church do you go to?"

Your grandmother / mother / aunt has a miracle cure for everything.

If you're a girl, your mother still tries to put those pony tail holders with the BIG plastic balls on the end on your hair.

If you're a guy, your mother still tries to make you wear that super frilly dress shirt with that huge bow tie, because it looked so cute when you were 7.

You can name any or all of the gods on Mount Olympus

Your mother or father still feels the need to tell you, "katse kala" in public

You have ever been hit with a pandofla

You can dance kalamatiano, tsiamiko, zebetiko without music

You go to church picnics pretending you're there for reasons other than to check up / gossip about other Greeks

You or a family member has been photographed with a donkey

You are familiar with the phrase, "Sto leo yia to kalo sou"

You have one or more of those porcelain figurines in your house

You have ever broken one of those porcelain figurines and your mother still hasn't forgiven you for it

Your parents make up the name of a street / store / TV show because they couldn't remember it or they couldn't pronounce it

You still get scared when you hear the name "Baboola"

Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from

You or a family member wears their Sunday best to go to the laundromat or grocery shopping

You were spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to

You go to a wedding or a baptism and complain about the food, but are the first one to ask for a "to go" plate

You know someone who always feels the need to point out how much something they bought costs

You have a bottle of OUZO in your house right now

You have ever been threatened to be eaten by the mavro / baboola / yero / pontiki when you were little

Someone in your family owns any type of restaurant

Your family inheritance includes olive trees